Somehow I went and lost about 35 pounds this year. Part of that is due, of course, to us finally committing to a plant-based, whole foods diet. Most of it, I suppose. And yet the change is much more profound than that. I didn’t just change my diet. I changed my SELF. I changed the way I see myself, the way I see those around me, the way I see the world.

For the first time I can remember, I’m not hoping/planning/dreaming about losing weight in the new year. I’m in the healthy range for my height. I suspect I’ll lose a bit more and my weight will eventually settle toward the lower end of the spectrum, but I’m in no rush to make the number on the scale bend to my will. It will settle where it will, with no struggle on my part.

It is all different now. It’s not a constant struggle, a constant need to reign myself in, follow a plan, redirect my feelings… it’s all different now. It’s as simple as breathing, as living.

I have no resolutions for 2012. I do have a bit of a bucket list, however. Some of it is fitness-related, but most of it is just about traveling well through this one life I have, accomplishing things I’ve wanted to do for years, and being unapologetically myself (to borrow a phrase from the inimitable MizFit). In no specific order:

• finish the Zero to 1650 swimming program. (I only have about a week and a half to go, but I’ve been out of the pool nearly two weeks now due to a nasty head cold. I will own this!)
• start weight training again.
• keep a flower garden alive.
• volunteer at the boys’ school.
• go back to Paris.
• travel to Keukenhof to see the tulips.
• read 50 books this year, half of them in French.
• do something active, outdoors, every weekend (weather permitting) with the boys.
• teach the boys to swim.
• submit the paperwork to become Belgian citizens.
• go to the symphony, the opera, the theatre.
• complain less, accept more.

Today was another 700 metres, and another chance to put my panic-avoidance measures to work. And once again, they worked like a charm. A little history…

I used to swim a lot. In the lake near where I grew up, mostly, but also laps in our school’s pool. I’ve never been fast, but I’ve always been a good swimmer with nice technique. Kind of like my power walking: I’m never going to win a race, but I’ll still be moving long after your legs are reduced to stumps And I’ve never been afraid in the water.

Skip ahead, oh, say, just shy of two decades to last year, when I made my first attempt in forever to swim laps.

Fear. Panicky, short of breath, I can’t do this, just get me to the edge of the pool for the love of mud. I was completely befuddled by my reaction, not to mention a little embarrassed. I’ve been swimming since the age of four. Or so I’m told. I don’t remember not being able to swim. And I sure as shooting don’t remember being afraid.

It took me a week or two to figure out what the problem was. I kept forcing myself back in the water, telling myself not to be stupid. I’d go out too fast, I knew it, and be floundering before I’d even gone a lap. And then it hit me. That fear? It wasn’t fear of the water. It was fear of heights! I have an insane, completely irrational, nearly phobic fear of heights.** Back when I was swimming regularly before, I was blind as a bat without my coke bottle glasses. I couldn’t see the bottom of the pool. I couldn’t see the really scary part, where the pool dropped off from five feet of water to a mind-numbing ten foot depth. But since I had laser eye surgery in 2005 my vision is better than 20/20. I can see everything. Especially  that blue line on the bottom of the pool  falling drastically away beneath me.

Last year I combatted this by always choosing an outside lane so I was near a wall and doing lots of back and breast stroke. And after a few weeks I didn’t bother trying anymore because of the lack of lap swim hours available to me. This year my coping mechanisms are a little more thought out. I’d like to be in this for the long term. I love swimming, even more than power walking. It’s a wonderful escape for me. I want to keep it in my life this time. So, here’s how I’ve been slaying the beast:

1. I’m lucky that my new pool has only one depth: deep. The blue line doesn’t fall away beneath my body, it just stays steady. That’s extremely helpful.
2. I do the first 100 metres breast stroke, giving myself to relax and get comfortable in the water.
3. Once I’m into freestyle, I look toward the horizon, not to the bottom of the pool. It occurs to me that this is Swimming 101, if I had ever taken Swimming 101. You look where you want to go.
4. I take it slow and easy; I don’t race to clutch the wall just to do it all over again. This, of course, helps me keep my breathing in check, which used to add to the panicky feeling.

I still really really want to get back into a strength training routine, but the one I’ve chosen to follow requires more of a time commitment than I can give it right now. Scratch that and insert honesty: it requires more of a time commitment than I want to give it right now. Rather than do something less than what I want, I’ve been doing nothing.

Enter this swimming training plan. The goal is to be able to swim a mile, non-stop, in six weeks. I’ve been wanting to get back into a swimming routine – I feel so good when I’m doing it regularly, but in the past have always had trouble getting to the pool during lap swim hours. Enter a new pool just a mile and a half from my house. Lanes are available all day, water is ever-so-slightly warmer than the other pool, and the pool/building setup is so swanky I feel like I’m at a resort. Cons? It’s kind of pricey. I’ve decided the good far outweighs the price and I got myself a ten-entry pass to get myself off to a good start.

Today I went swimming for the first time in forever. It felt great to be in the water! The workout was a total of 700 metres: 4X100, 4X50, 4X25, with plenty of rests built in. Much to my surprise, I was able to stick with the 100s and only pause for a rest at the prescribed time. In the past 100 metres would have been too much for me. I think not because of my swimming ability or even my fitness level, but because I used to get oddly panicky in the water and get short of breath. I figured out the why of that (which I’ll discuss sometime soon) and was able to avoid it by applying a few simple measures.

So now, I have a training plan to follow. I have an event that’s not an event to train for. I’ll train to swim a mile, but there will be no crowd, no starting gun, no confusion and panic. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner

Sunday – Chili over brown rice with apple crisp for dessert (it was delicious, just to let you know!)

Monday – sloppy lentils over homemade rolls with a veg

Tuesday – Tuscan white bean soup and salad

Wednesday - Buddha’s Delight

Thursday – leftover potluck

Friday –  Pasta Alfredo

Saturday – lentil soup

I’m trying to keep our menu uber-simple these few weeks. I’m aiming for family-friendly (a given), familiar foods that won’t send my mother-in-law into food-culture shock. She’s pretty much at my mercy here. I’m trying to be kind, keep the tofu and spices to a minimum, and show her that eating plant-based just isn’t as “out there” as it sounds.

My other confession? On the exercise front? Nada. Zip. Zilch. I mean, yes I ride my bike to uni nearly every day, and when I don’t I’m walking all over town. But I can’t remember the last time I really truly worked out. I keep talking about starting. But it just keeps getting brushed aside for other things that are more important at the time. I’m not going to make any promises here today, either. Suffice it to say that I know I’m lapsing, it’s in the back of my mind that I need to get back on track, and it will happen eventually.

That’s all I’ve got for you! Off to make the bread to go with our supper. I said shut up. You’ll thank me for my mad kitchen skills one of these days.

• we’re starting the paperwork to become Belgian citizens. It’s a long, confusing process. And it’s all in French. Or in Dutch, if you prefer. (I don’t prefer.) Plowing through the paperwork is taking a lot of time. It will be worth it in the end, but oh, goodness the drudgery. And I’m a person that likes doing paperwork.
• my French course is all I can handle. And more. Much, much more. I’m learning a lot, so I’ll continue. But I’m beginning to think that what I need isn’t another, more advanced course. No, what I need is to get out there and actually use my French. I’ve found some volunteer opportunities that would be really good for me to take on. Except, because of  my French course, I don’t have the time to go out and apply it. Ahh, the irony.
• My mother-in-law is arriving Wednesday for a two-month stay. In stunning coincidence, my house cleaners have apparently quit on me. Guess what I’m doing for the next few days?

That pretty much brings you up to date. Huh, when I write it out it doesn’t sound like much. Trust me, it’s taking all my attention. But in a feeble attempt to keep this blog going and simplify at least one facet of my life, here’s our menu for the upcoming week. It’s filled with filling family favorites that are quick to prepare and hopefully appetizing to my omnivorous in-law

• baked beans, sweet potatoes, and broccoli
• lentil soup
• Happy Herbivore’s cheater pad thai
• Susan V’s 15 bean soup
• MamaPea‘s spaghetti with lentil “meat”balls
• chili mac

And… with that, I’m back to work

So that’s that.

So what’s new? I’m the incredible shrinking woman. The new jeans I bought about six weeks ago now require a belt to keep me from looking like a hobo. I had to buy a belt. Not a cute, pretend I have a waist belt, but an actual, hold my pants up belt. And since having bought it, I’ve had to move down yet another hole in the belt. Only one more On the not-so-excellent side of things, my bras are pretty much empty. I re-measured and found I’ve lost over four inches topside. There’s a major shopping spree in my future; I’m just trying to hold out until the sales in January.

I’m ecstatic to be so close to a normal, healthy weight. I have no doubt I’ll get there. Will I get eye rolls from you if I say I’ve made lifestyle change? And that I know I can keep doing this for the rest of my life? Fine, roll your eyes, but it’s true. The last few months have been effortless.

Now, however, I need to apply a little effort. I need to get back to the weights. Because losing 30+ pounds? Doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to end up with a bikini-ready body. I still have a lot that wiggles and jiggles. No shame in that, and I actually have no aspirations to parading myself around in a bikini. But I do want to be the healthiest I can be, and I know I can be better than where I am.

I’m on the lookout for a strength training program. Any suggestions? I started one a couple weeks ago, but just couldn’t keep up with the time commitment – I just don’t have an hour a day most days to commit to this. 30-45 minutes three times a week is more what I have in mind. If you know a good plan let me know!

This week I’m cooking from The Happy Herbivore. Either that or my internal cookbook. It simplifies things to have just one cookbook out of our library, instead of five or six dog-eared books chewing up my precious counter space. Tonight I made Lindsay’s Buddha’s Delight, subbing in the veg I had on hand and that I knew would please the young gourmets in the house. And added in broiled tofu for some extra staying power.  Served over brown rice – a nice, easy recipe for a busy week night.

• homemade marinara sauce
• whole wheat rolls
• oatmeal
• chickpea tuna-styled spread for sandwiches
• two different kinds of salad dressing
• pumpkin bread (using pumpkin purée we made ourselves)
• whole wheat/oatmeal bread
• whole wheat potato bread
• sour cream

First up, food prep. Jesse read about this gadget and thought it would be wicked cool to have in our kitchen. I’m, errr, not known for my knife skills, and the words *finely diced* can mean pretty much anything in my hands.

It takes far more force to use this than I was expecting. And when I finally managed to chop all the way through the first trial onion, and the top slammed down with a tremendous BAM, all I could think was, “Shit. I broke it. And on the first damn thing I put in it. How am I going to explain this???” But never fear, all was well.

I like the uniformity of the finished pieces, but it’s going to take some getting used to, working with this gadget. I’ll let you know what I really think of it once I’ve used it a few times and my heart no longer slams every time the lid does.

Again, I don’t post other people’s recipes unless I’ve made them pretty much unrecognizable with my adaptations, but here are the main ingredients: onions and garlic, canned diced tomatoes, veg broth with saffron, rice, red peppers, peas, carrots, pine nuts, artichokes, and edamame.

I sautéed the onion and garlic in water, not oil, used brown rice instead of the called-for white (and had to play around with the cooking time to accommodate), and subbed edamame I did have for the lima beans the recipe called for. Oh, and I left out the crushed red pepper, as my kids are still anti-hot/spicy foods. J and I added it back in at the table.

It makes me a little wistful that I’m not a more accomplished photographer, because none of the photos I took do justice to this wonderful, colorful dish.

Because it’s insanely delicious! You should really buy the book (The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen) for the recipe, but this is about as simple as it gets: scallions, broth, beans, oregano, rosemary, thyme, and sage. And s&p to taste, of course. Easy to prepare and absolutely un-toppable. 99% of the time, if I ask Jesse what he wants for supper, this is what he requests.

Pictured with it is the Summertime Whole Wheat Focaccia from Healthy Happy Life. Oh my goodness, this smelled so good while it was baking! The perfect complement to a wonderful soup!

I have four of Donna Klein’s cookbooks. This week I’ll cook our favorite recipe from each for your reading and viewing pleasure. In no particular order:

Classic Tuscan White Bean Soup from Vegan Italiano

Quick Farmer’s Paella from The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen

Lentil Tacos* from Supermarket Vegan

and…. I’m not sure what from The Tropical Vegan Kitchen. Lots of favorites there, I’m having a hard time getting a family consensus.

No cooking today, I’m afraid. Just heating up We went to Charleroi for a performance of Pierre et le Loup, so no time for real cooking today. I’ll get back to you tomorrow!

*our favorite recipe from Supermarket Vegan is actually Coconut Curried Lentils, but we no longer do coconut milk because of the fat content. if you do partake, I heartily recommend trying this dish – it’s amazing!

Harry (4 yrs old): we’re having pizza for supper! Weeeheee! This is gonna be gweat!!

Clearly the pressure is on. Because the last time I made pizza, the dough was so stiff an unwieldly as to be completely… well, inedible. We did a quickie pasta instead. This time, however, I am armed with MamaPea’s pizza crust recipe. Yes, I made it 100% whole wheat, and yes, I swapped out the oil. But I’ve done a hell of a lot of baking in the last few weeks, and I’ve come a long way.

This recipe adapted well to the changes I made, the dough rose beautifully, and I had a fantastic base on which to try and work some magic.

We made two pizzas. One got the leftover sauce from last night’s pasta — another phenomenal MamaPea recipe, by the way. The other got slathered with AFR‘s pizza hummus. This is the first time I’ve ever tried hummus on pizza. I’m skeptical, but clearly willing to give it the old middle-aged college try.

Additional toppings of peppers and nutritional yeast fort he kids’ pizza; olives, mushrooms, peppers, and nutritional yeast on  the big kids’ pizza. The kids still remember fondly the days of margarita pizza, so I kept this as plain as possible with the hopes of reeling them in. No vegan meltable cheese available locally.

And… crap. Although the kids were happy with the finished product, it just didn’t do it for me. The crust was good, but I didn’t roll it out near thin enough, resulting in a very bready pizza.The sauce was, as I said, phenomenal, but got lost in all the bread. And just not enough oomph from the toppings. Next time I’ll go back to our tried-and-true basil tofu ricotta recipe.

Back to the drawing board.

Step One: you make the dough. It’s really that easy. Two cups of masa harina, 1 1/3 cups of warm water. Mix. Knead very briefly.

Step Two: bat eyes at Hot Vegan Husband. He’ll take it from here.

Step Three: Hot Vegan Husband divides the dough

Step Four: and slices it into twelve equal segments. Out comes the tortilla press.

Step Five: PARCHMENT PAPER. Don’t believe all the instructions you read saying to use wax paper. It sucks. PARCHMENT PAPER.

Step Six: Hot Vegan Husband flattens one of the segments slightly

Step Seven: and places it on the PARCHMENT PAPER on the press.

Step Eight: press.

Step Nine: remove the parchment paper.

Perfect!

Step Ten: cook over medium high heat on an un-oiled cast iron griddle, about one minute on each side.

And there you have it! A plate full of piping hot tortillas. The tortilla press is optional, of course. You could just use a rolling pin, or even your hands and a lot of patience. The Hot Vegan Husband is optional, too, but I highly recommend one. They make being vegan much, much easier.

And… I can’t type anymore, because Harry is throwing a whopper of a fit, my ears are ringing, and I can’t think.

I sautéed the vegetables in broth instead of oil, and replaced the sugar with maple syrup. And, of course, I omitted the cashews.

Served over brown rice. I thought this was delicious, and my seven year old agreed. On a scale of one to five, he gave it a ten Harry, the four year old, liked it but spit out the water chestnuts… wonderful table manners, eh? My husband? He couldn’t get past the fact that it had celery in it to really evaluate the dish. Celery is one of his hated threes — cumin, cilantro, and celery. Actually, simply the fact that he didn’t push away from the table and make himself a sandwich instead probably speaks volumes about the dish, despite the dreaded presence of celery.

Leftovers tomorrow, which delights three in the household. But I think Thursday even J will be jumping for joy — we’re trying her Black Bean Soup!

Saturday, I gave up coffee.  Today I started back to university. My mind is in a whirl. A very tired, headache-riddled whirl. That I’ve made it to day three of Vegan MoFo is a testament to how very serious I take this commitment.

But the truth is, I don’t have much for you today. We’re having leftovers from the last couple days – must to clear out the fridge to make room for the yummy meals I’ve got planned in the upcoming days! I spent an hour doing homework this afternoon, and another bemoaning how much I’ve forgotten over the summer. And probably another hour or so in a haze. This helped a bit:

But not a lot. Compared to the four plus cups of coffee I’m used to having a day, a cup or two of tea just doesn’t pack enough caffeine. I’ve heard that any day now the headaches should subside. I’ll let you know if that’s for real or just an old wives’ tale.

After school today the kids wanted ice cream. So, I made them ice cream.

I had a box of strawberries to use up and you know I always have a bag of frozen bananas in the freezer!

One of my very favorite things about being a healthy, whole foods vegan is that I can feel good about anything I give my kids. I know only the best ingredients are being ingested. I can identify every single bit they put in their mouths. My littlest one is a snacker — all day, every day — but I don’t have to worry that he’s filling up on crap. When your kids snack on fresh fruit, and red peppers, and green monsters, and homemade pretzels, you just don’t have to worry if they’re getting the nutrition they need. It’s in there!

Yes! We have a successful rise!

I would love to be able to tell you that that’s my seven year old’s pretzel-making skills seen above. But, alas, it is mine.

The finished product! The whole process was much easier than I’d expected it to be, and the pretzels were perfect! Both my kids were yammering for more, and my husband scarfed two before I had a chance to pack them away for school snacks.  Good thing I trusted MamaPea and made a double batch!